SUSIE MALLETT

Friday, 5 February 2010

No cook book for CE

" ...but there is cooking in conductive upbringing"

I do have such lovely work, so enjoyable and so variable.

Sometimes I have the feeling that I am always a student, constantly learning and trying out new things.

I am me

This week I had several “conversations” about my “Weil ich bin ich” posting from last week: email communications, telephone calls and face to face.

One of the themes of these discussions was questioning what did Littlie mean. Does Weil ich bin ich really translate to “Because I am me”?

It was lucky that I was on the spot when she said it and had time to ask what was meant. Because Littlie can now talk and communicate well enough she explained it to me, but still with the help of her eyes and facial expression.

She took the time to explain because she wanted to and also because she realised that she was being pretty clever! It was important enough for me to have asked her the question and she realised this straight away.

This little girl speaks so differently when she comes out with her gems of wisdom. She is so clear and self-assured because she knows when it is something that she knows better than anyone else.

She laughed a lot during this conversation. She was wobbling around so much while laughing, but she was so sure of herself, that she knew that even though talking and laughing she was in no danger of falling over.

We both ignored the wobbling while I asked lots of questions. We managed to establish that she meant that she knew what she needed, better than I knew, because she is who she is, and I am not. I do not live inside her body and soul, she does.

She definitely didn’t mean “Because I’m me, that is how I am”.

Personal communications

When answering one of the communications that I received on this weil ich bin ich subject, I wrote how important this kind of communication is between client and conductor. I also wrote how important it is for me to be observing every second of the day, otherwise important moments go by unspoken. I also mention how, although group work is good, it is not the be-all-and-end-all and, even in a group, moments spend alone with an individual are very important.

It is a ray of sunshine suddenly appearing in this grey winter to have clients like all my littlies and my stroke clients who explain things to me. They tell me how they experience life and how a conductive life-style helps them.

This ray of sunshine turns into a shower of presents. I receive wonderful snippets of information from my clients, or I am shown by them how to change how we do something together, because they realise that it is better that way. Sometimes the changes are so small that only they can indicate to me what is needed. I wouldn’t know it otherwise, as the changes may only be feelings, feeling safer perhaps or maybe understanding their own body movements better, things invisible to my eye except perhaps for the look in the eye or the smile in the soul.

Personal gifts

I store away these presents. I will at some time in the future have a need for them and I can then adapt them to use in my work with other people. I shll never, though, be able to use again the solutions that I have found together with individual clients in the form in which they are stored. But I can be more aware that there are possibilities to do things differently.

Every one of my clients is different, their lives are different, and all of them are constantly changing. How we work together has to be changing with them. Because of these differences and changes it is so important for all conductors, clients, carers and parents to know that there is no recipe. There is no CE cook-book. You cannot buy CE off the peg.

A theatre of spontaneity

Conducting is very much like acting in improvised theatre (Stehgreiftheater), where the audience throws in a word or two, suggests ideas, and the actors use their stored skills to bring the work together. That is what we conductors are doing all day. We have a base of knowledge that we use to form new programmes for the children and adults. We start to build, depending on what gets thrown at us each and every day. Each day a new tasty meal is put together, and each day lots of happy souls.

We are observing, listening and using what we see and hear and feel, in order to create a hundred different dishes a day, each one suiting a client in a specific situation. One child may need the scissors upside down, another may need to hold them in the other hand, a chair may need to be higher or lower when used to do this or that. Things don’t stay the same for a minute, so there is no instant recipe.

This is an important area for discussion in Conductive Education. It is certainly something that conductors providing a service must make clear to parents, carers and clients.

Creative cookery

All too often it is established that there is a problem. Unfortunately, then, all also too often it is believed that a recipe can be found to solve the problem from with a with a peek in a cook book. Then perhaps a conductor will be brought in to cook the chosen recipe. But then again perhaps not.

Conductive Education does not work like this. There is certainly no cook book and certainly no free gift taped on the cover, there are no wooden plinths and no 1,2,3,4,5. These are not the ingredients we need. They may be our utensils, but then again, maybe not, just as sometimes when we cook we think that we might “need” a rolling pin or a baking tin, when a glass bottle full of cold water and a flower pot will do the job just as well.

A conductive upbringing most certainly does not come in a book of recipes, and certainly not with the cook-cum-conductor thrown in.

I can at times feel that I am working to a recipe, but then I find that there are ingredients missing, the grandma or the sister or the dad, the home life or the school. Then the recipe doesn’t work. The cake doesn’t rise or the dish has an odd taste to it. A conductive upbringing needs to include everything in someone’s life and must be always changing to accommodate every change that takes place.

Of course there are lots of ideas that we can pass on from conductor to conductor, from client to client. There are, however, no recipes to write down, saying that this will be suitable for such and such or for someone else in a similar situation. It usually isn’t!

All change, all the time

CE is about change. It is about observing the changes, and listening to communications about making changes. It is about making new changes because other changes have taken place because of the last ones..

If a child can stand up and then discovers how to use the hands while standing, then next time the opportunity arises the same child can have a go at baking bread, or playing with a dolls house standing up instead of sitting on a chair or on the floor.

If there is a problem here, I do not know whether it comes from the conductors or from the people they provide a service for. It is a bit of a chicken-and-egg story. In many situations parents, centre-managers, teachers, whoever the customer is, decide that they want this method that they have seen working on television, at a summer camp or in Budapest. They see clients developing but do not necessarily understand why and how. They perhaps do not understand how they are going to achieve such success in their own setting, so they wonder whether perhaps they can buy a cookbook!

Some perhaps get themselves a meat-and-two-veg cook book, and then employ a Michelin-star chef to cook the recipes in it.

Ask any cook

But we cannot choose any single recipe to fit the bill in our work, and neither can the wrong ingredients be given to a chef with the expectation that a well-balanced meal will be produced.
Conductors need to be instrumental in the planning of how a conductive upbringing is to be provided from the word go, mot brought in to provide a service that has been decided in advance by non-conductors.

Monday, 1 February 2010

This posting is for James, Blues's Dad














More toiletries, courtesy of Big Sis
Thank you...

...to Sis for sending me not only a wonderful selection of photos of a small part of her toilet collection, but also for the parcel that was delivered this morning. The one that has been travelling by snail-mail since the first week of January and we has just about given up on!

The long-awaited tea bags finally reached their final destination. I was very much tempted to eat the surprise hot-cross bun that I discovered between the leaves, but I resisted. It was very stale having a eat-by-date of January 7th! Wherever has it been for a month?

Toilet tour

The first pictures in the series above show the ceramic toilet with flush that I created, with technical assistance from a friend, for Big Sis's forthieth birthday.
After the home-made flusher comes a picture of the toilet-seat mirror, complete with shelf, that we found for her here in Nürnberg. The history of the others I don't really know, some I have found at car-boot sales and in toyshops, and I think that the majority are presents from family and friends. I suspect that the po with the feather is from our Mum.

Perhaps there are more toiletries in store

I seem to remember that Andrew Sutton said in his "searching for the Gents" posting, that today is the day that he would be making a visit to the Palace of Westminster. The toilets of this building, he said, are familiar to him, no chance then, he thought, of getting lost and being bullied into thinking about who he is.

Andrew, I hope you behaved according to the Palace code and wore your badge for all and sundry to see, thus avoiding questioning your identity.

Sunday, 31 January 2010

Observation + Spontaneity = Hugs

"Receiving, giving a hug" by Susie Mallett

My friend and colleague gave me a big hug just as I was walking past her on my way to collect a potty. That‘s team work for you, seeing what is needed and spontaneaously doing it. Or in this case giving it and receiving it.

I really needed that hug, it made the rest of the day go like a dream!

Helping out, oiling the wheels

It is not really my group that we are working with at the moment. It has just turned into it for a while.

We share the leadership of the groups and this one is usually my colleague‘s responsibility. It is the group with five members and five mother tongues, the one with the children who attend the integrated Kindergarten. I have informally taken over its running, for this block only. This happened sort of spontaneously when for the first few days of the block my colleague had lost her voice and was feeling quite poorly, but not quite poorly enough not to be at work. She couldn’t lead any programmes though as no one could hear her.

Later on, although my colleague‘s voice returned the leader of the Kindergarten did not. She was signed off sick for several more weeks. My colleague is now needed early each morning in the Kindergarten, which means she cannot spare time to prepare for our group too.

So I spontaneously took over

I enjoy doing all of this with the very small children, but I find it very hard work. Five years ago if I had dared to give it a go I would not have been as good at it as I am now. I doubt too that I would have said then that I enjoyed it.

I have changed a lot. Now at fifty-two years of age I can enjoy rolling around the floor, playing, telling funny stories, putting on funny hats, and generally playing the fool. Today I was even chasing a stray cat around the room. He jumped in the window as we were breathing in the minus-fourteen air!

With it being that cold outside it was no wonder the ginger cat wanted to stay with us, and that I had great difficulty in catching him. The screams and hoots of laughter from the children and staff of course didn’t improve matters.

Perhaps it was the fun that we were having attracted the cat more than the warmth.

The children in the group are only four years old and younger. I do not feel that I am at my best with this age group, not least because I cannot sing but every day, when I ask whether my colleague is well enough to take over again, she replies:

”Oh, but you do it so well.“

I can tell by her voice that she means it. The children seem to have fun too and they are learning so much. And so am I.

“Just another day“ has turned into two weeks and, as there is only one more week to go, I expect that things might just as well stay as they are right up to the end. The only thing is that I may need a few more hugs before we get there. As the observation and the spontaneity are always there, I expect that the hugs will appear at just the right moment, as always.

Lists

Not only the right kind of snow, but an hour of sunshine to go with it


How many conductors have experienced a parents' meeting where the parents don’t have a notebook with them.

Lists for parents

I learnt a long time ago that, when I show a parent the many different things that a child can do, whether at home or at school, in the playground or out on the streets, then I must always provide two sheets of paper, one for me and the child and one for the parent.

I already have my own notes on a separate sheet.

These new sheets of paper are for jotting down memos. The parents I leave to find their own method of recording these memos.

Lists for children and for adult clients

Together with the child I drew our memos as pictures, the child deciding on the images that will represent the tasks and activities.

I also use this method with stroke-clients with aphasia. If they are able, they tell me their suggestions for the images that they associate with the tasks, movements and activities. If they can’t tell me, then the other members of the group suggest something.

When I work at home with families I find a place together with the children to pin up their list. A place where they can see it every day and I practise with them how they will choose one or more items on the list to think about and work on throughout the day.

The parents have a paper too. Perhaps they have included things that they can talk about with physiotherapists, speech therapists or with teachers. Or they canhang their paper in the kitchen or the bathroom, to remind them during their busy days what can be done and when and how.

The need to teach

I was reminded of how I do this one day this week when my colleague was preparing for a meeting with a mother. I said not to forget two pieces of paper and two pencils. She asked me what for, indicating that the parents don’t write anything.

Parents generally don’t, she is right. As with many other things we need to teach them.

It doesn’t take much, just two pieces of paper and two pencils and a few suggestions at first of what they could write down. They learn fast. As with many aspects of Conductive Education this is common sense, but it has to be thought of first.

Many of my parents still arrive with no pencil and paper but most of them now ask me where they can find them, and then they fetch them for themselves.

The children and adult clients all know that they will receive such a list from me and actually get excited at the prospect of being asked later how they have used it.

Lists for the littlies

Just this week I started to make lists with my littlies in the group. They are often brought to the group by people other than their parents, either grandparents or classroom assistants, or taxi- drivers.

This week we started a list called “Things Mama and Papa should know”.

These children have just started school. They are so enthusiastic about the new-found ability that they have to read the words that they come across. They read words everywhere. Words that are written on the furniture, words that they see in the street in advertisements, and then there are the words on the back of the cornflakes packet. These all get read and talked about.

It isn’t only the reading that is so thrilling for them. They use every opportunity that they get to grab a pen and write down whatever comes to mind, either what they have learnt at school that day or just little notes to each other.

They were delighted by the idea of writing lists together.

We wrote with words too, not just with pictures. The children decided which information needed to go home, several of the points that I wrote for quickness, and they had a go with writing and depicting some of the others. It was a success.

Some of the successes and the information that I wrote for them

  • I am practising to walk holding someone’s hand.
  • I want you to know that I prefer to do jigsaw puzzles on the floor because I need to use my knees to hold the puzzle in place.
  • I baked bread today standing up.
  • I stepped onto a box and stood there alone for the first time today.
  • I scrubbed my fingernails with a brush.

And they wrote...

  • I learnt how to sew this week.
  • I am learning to walk using sticks.
  • I was pleased to see my friend again today.

I think that perhaps I should have written:

  • Please do not feed me, I am not a bird.
  • Please listen to me, as I know what I need.

The blogosphere lists

I have been collecting my thoughts all this week for this posting as things cropped up. On one day there was a Google Alert amongst my emails that seemed to fit the bill.

I get up to ten Google Alerts each day, about all things conductive, sometimes even electricity. I sift through them if I have the time before I delete them. Some I send on to Gill Maguire just in case there is something new to her that could be of use for her valuable lists, and sometimes there is one, like the one this week, that fits in with what I am thinking about.

Google alerted me to another parent blog. This time it was a Mum writing about how she puts her list on the fridge door, so that she can be reminded regularly of her visions for the near future.

http://jadnunley.blogspot.com/2010/01/vision-board-for-2010.html

I have decided that I am going to buy lots of magnets for my parents, carers and groups, so that we can design our own fridge magnets with our own lists and messages on them.

Now it is time for me to start ticking of things on my list for this "getting-ready-for-Monday" Sunday.

It snowed the right kind of snow

Friday 29th January 2010

How many times do we hear that a train was delayed due to the "wrong kind of snow"? In Nürnberg we know all about the wrong kind of snow. It has been falling here all winter. Now, though, for the first time during the big, grey and snowy winter-chill, that has lasted for weeks, we at last got what we have been waiting for.

The right kind of snow!

For many people it was still the wrong sort of snow as it is the warmer snow that makes the streets in the city really wet, messy and slippery. But for those of us who enjoy building snowmen and having snowball fights, it has been just perfect.

The children at work had been so disappointed with the wrong kind of snow falling day after day. Snow that just crumbles as soon as it is picked up. So soft and dry that no amount of squeezing and patting would make it stick together. That's not much fun for anything other than sledging, and there are not many hills near our Kindergarten as you can see in the photograph above.

On Friday afternoon, as I walked across the snow-covered fields to work, I saw a sight that I realised had been missing all these snowy weeks. There outside the Kindergarten, standing as large as life, were two snowmen, the first that I have seen this winter.

I had missed the building action, this had taken place during the morning, but the results were there to see.
The temperature has dropped overnight, the wrong sort of snow is falling again, so I expect that the chilly sculptures will still be there to greet me once again on Monday morning, complete with carrot noses and matching orange "hats".

Saturday, 30 January 2010

Toiletries

Manhole cover at the top of Elm Hill, Norwich by Susie Mallett

I got the feeling this morning that my sister must be about

In our family we always say that, when the discussion gets around to the subject of toilets, she must be somewhere in the vicinity. As James Forlitti has pointed out, there has been quite a lot of toilet and bathroom talk on the conductive blogosphere recently, (Andrew Sutton, James Forlitti and myself). I immediately thought of my sister.

Why my sister?

Because my Big Sis collects toilets and toilet paraphernalia.

She has been an avid collector of all things related to Mr Thomas Crapper and earlier, for at least thirty years. She For her twenty-fifth wedding anniversary, she received from her husband what is probably the best item in her collection.

The jewel in the crown!

In her bedroom there stands, in its old wooden casing, a wonderful toilet, one of the first with a flushing system. A toilet that was once used at Sandringham House, the Norfolk home of British Royalty!

In my sister's bathroom there are the larger models of toilets, in the guest toilet are the smaller items including tiny chamber pots, and covering the walls is the postcard collection.

Out in the garden the British Rail “Ladies” sign hangs from the side of the shed, and real-life toilets in pastel shades are filled with sweet-smelling miniature roses.

The family always have their eyes peeled for “toiletries” and there is always a suitable present for her in someone’s present store! When my Mum died, amongst her treasures we found a couple of junk-shop finds that had obviously been intended for Sis’s next birthday.

Sis has items in her collection from my travels around the world, from my parents car-boot sale visits, drawings from the children and several antiques. Once I even made her a ceramic toilet that flushes. Not with the ball-cock system invented by Thomas Crapper, but it works nevertheless.

She has mini-toilets in many forms: ashtray toilets, toilets that make noises, flower-pot-holder toilets, wooden models of outdoor toilets, signs for toilet doors, books on toilets and much more.

First-time visitors to Sis’s house don’t get lost on the way to the toilet, as Andrew Sutton did at the university in his toilet-blog, but they do tend to get lost once they find it. They get lost in the world of her wonderful collection. We don’t send out a search party, we don’t even ask why they have been away for so long.
Unfortunately I cannot find the photographs that I once took of her collection. Perhaps she will send me one later.

PS

Sis isn’t the only person to collect “toiletries”.
There used to be a lovely private collection of chamber pots in Munich at the “Centre of Unusual Museums”, ZAM-Zentrum für außsergewöhnlicher Museen.

I have just discovered while I was searching for the link that it closed down in 2005, due to the death of its owner. I visited it several years ago so that I could report back to my sister, and alongside the chamber-pots I discovered many other wonderful oddities, amongst them a collection of pedal cars, a collection of perfume bottles, a collection of Easter-rabbits and a Princess Sissi collection.

Notes

Andrew Sutton -

James Forliti –
Susie Mallett -

A "PS" because I am me

Playing with butterflies, 2009


The "Weil ich bin ich" Littlie said something lovely today.

We had received unexpected visitors to the group just as we were starting and I had fogotten to prepare something that we needed.

I said "Oh dear, I am daft and old and forgetful". She shock her head and said loud and clear: "Nein!"

I asked "Nein what? Nein nicht doof? (not daft) Or nein not old and forgetful?"

With a cheeky grin she replied ,very clearly: "Nicht doof".

I then suggested: "But old". She smiled and told me "But not as old as Oma (Grandma), but older than Mama."

That’s a lot of words for someone who has to fight to get each one out. I think she knows how much I love her anecdotes and perhaps that motivates her to speak. She gets so excited because we understand her so quickly these days.

And how diplomatic she is!

A PPS (because I am me)

Of course this conversation was carried out entirely in German. Perhaps soon this may actually take place as reported above, as she has asked me to teach her English!